Self-Esteem – what is it and how do you get more of it?

So what is this self-esteem everyone is talking about?  Simply put it’s how you estimate and value yourself to be, compared to others.  Self-esteem is a major factor in determining how YOU feel, what you do with your life and who you are!  If you have low self-esteem it’s very likely that you can relate to some of the following:

  • Have a low opinion of yourself
  • Think you’re not good enough or even worthless
  • Think that people don’t like you
  • Feel guilty when you spend time or money on yourself
  • Have low confidence
  • Blame yourself for everything, even when it’s not your fault
  • Think you don’t deserve to be successful or happy
  • Don’t recognise your strengths
  • Don’t do things you really want to as you’re scared you’ll make a fool of yourself

Problems with low self-esteem can stem all the way back to your childhood or can start later in life.  Either way they tend to get worse over time and limit HOW you live your life.  The society we live in today doesn’t help either.  We’re constantly bombarded with images of ‘beautiful people’ and we hear constantly on TV and social media about all the amazing things people have.  It can often seem as if everyone else has a ‘perfect life’ except you.  It IS possible to improve your self esteem though.    The following are some tips to help.

  • Remind yourself DAILY that you have the right to feel good about who are just the same as the next person
  • Avoid negative self talk- take time to notice how you are talking to yourself internally.  Are you being hard on yourself?  Would you talk to others the way you talk to yourself?  Be kind to YOU.
  • Connect with people who care for you – spend time with people who love care for you and treat you well. talk to loved ones about how you feel – I’ve no doubt they see you in a much better way than you see yourself. 
  • Set boundaries – it’s very easy to get caught in a trap of doing too much for others and not looking after your own needs. Step back and have a look and see if that is true in your case.  Learn to say NO – saying yes to others can become automatic and leave you with no time to yourself.  It’s fine to say No sometimes.
  • Set yourself small goals – set yourself small goals every week on how to be kinder to yourself. They don’t need to be big, examples are go for a massage, get your nails done, take time to go a country walk, take time to watch a box set one evening, read a book you’ve been wanting to read, have an early night, etc.
  • Write down all the things you like about yourself – be nice. Think of how you look, your personality, things you do.  Ask your friends to do the same about you.
  • Celebrate your successes – praise yourself every day for the little things you do. Don’t focus on what you didn’t do.
  • Exercise – exercise is great for raising your self esteem. It makes you feel better about yourself generally and can improve your mood.
  • Meditate – start training your brain as well as your body. There are some great apps around that will help you get started or just go for a lovely walk in the country.
  • Start a journal – start writing in a journal every day about the good things you’ve done that day. Celebrate your victories.
  • Be Grateful – an attitude of gratitude changes the chemical in your brain and improves how you feel. Start by writing down things you’re grateful for every day.  Include the small things, not just people.

Making small, consistent changes every day can vastly improve your self esteem.  If you need help with this, hypnotherapy can be very effective in dealing with problems of  low self-esteem.  Please get in touch to find out more.   

Irene